Why “Mother’s Birth”?

We speak so often about birth as if concerning the baby only. “I am born”, we say, setting in stone the individual agent society expects birthing herself from the start. True, the baby participates actively during birth and it is important to be aware of that, but birth as tandem work, to say the least. Mother and child navigate worlds on a thin slackline stretched between Life and Death.

My favourite way to say “give birth” is the Spanish “dar a luz”, literally “to give light”. Give light to a new soul. Participate in the complete rearrangement of the world as we know it. An immense undertaking.

Alongside with That, another process of profound transformation takes place - the birth of a mother! While childbirth happens in a instant (even after a veeeery long labour), a mother’s birth can take time, in some cases, a lifetime. It is not uncommon to hear mothers speak about birth as a (symbolic) death. And that can be terrifying.

I personally felt very clearly that during Surya’s birth (my first), I - as I knew me - died. It was funny. I didn’t feel sad for the dead Katia. It was obvious to me but there was no sadness. My I-dentity had explored in a Big Bang of love. It was replaced by a We-dentity (I and my son). I understood this was temporary and I understood I needed this rearrangement of sorts to be best attuned to the needs of the being who made it to Earth as my son. I didn’t know who I was becoming but I was curious to see what my new identity will weave in.

And you, how did you experience your birth as a mother?